Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Your Fluids are Worth Their Weight in Gold

I kind of wish that I was British. Not because I wish I had an accent or because I'm particularly fond of tea but because you can make dough off of selling your blood. In the States they just expect you to give it away for free! pffff..... And I kind of wish I was a guy too. Not because I wish I had a penis but because I could make a lot of money selling my spermies.

So I guess if you are a woman and you don't possess a Y chromosome, a lot of these tips won't really work out for you. But I still think they are pretty funny.

Give Blood

The term blood money has never been so apt. Laboratories will pay about £60 for 600ml of your blood and throw in another £5 for transport costs.
The blood will be used in scientific testing and to make blood free plasma. Of course, if you feel like doing a good deed you can still donate your blood to a blood bank in exchange for a biscuit and a cup of tea.
Easy Money Rating: 8/10 (Just as long as needles don’t make you squeamish)

A cup and a dirty magazine
Sperm donation may not be your first choice for a future career but it is an easy way to make some quick money.
You have to be fit, under the age of 40, able to perform when you walk into the clinic and have healthy sperm. But if none of those present a hurdle then you can pick up about £25 for each deposit.
Easy Money rating: 9/10 (Most guys do it for free anyway)
How to get involved:
If you are a uni-student check out the medical faculty notice board, sperm banks often advertise there. Alternatively check out the yellow pages or the internet for a sperm bank or fertility clinic in your area.

Human Guinea Pigs

Before a drug can be sold it needs to be tested and that means finding people brave enough to take it. This is where you come in. Human guinea pigs are paid £80 to £100 a day to pop a pill (or take a jab), then sit around and occasionally tell a lab technician how they feel.
If that sounds risky, well it is, but only a little. Most clinics claim that their test dummies are not exposed to any danger. Then again these are tests so nothing is definitive and some labs pay a ‘discomfort bonus’ giving you some idea that not all tests are as easy as each other.
A test can take anything from an afternoon to a couple of weeks and can be either in house, meaning you stay at the lab and get more money, or involve daily check ups.
Easy Money rating: 7/10
How to get involved: The easiest way to find a testing centre near you is to go on the web and take a look at the UK section of

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Col said...

Hold on... I live in the UK, where I willingly give my blood away for free! Now you're telling me I should be getting paid for my precious type O half pints?!! Dang, I'm getting onto the Blood Service about this- they owe me big bucks!

Ian said...

Women can sell their eggies, usually for about $5,000. On the other hand, men give away their sperm for $50 a pop.

Of course, getting stuck with a giant needle and having your eggs sucked out is a little more painful than looking at dirty magazines for 20 minutes. But still...

Jay said...

I can't even give away any of my body fluids....though I do have a booger up on Ebay. Some people think that's gross, but it's not.

Paul said...

Some of those human guinea pig studies are pretty intense. It would have to be a lot of money to get me to shit in a bucket to measure internal bleeding. Yech.

Ivan said...

Donating sperm sounds like an easy way to make some money. I never thought of that one. I will have to look into it.

The Cheap Bastard's Blog

seeingdouble said...

You can sell your plasma in the US. It takes a little longer than blood donation, but people who do it regularly (I think it's 2 times a week) make about 175 a month. That big ass needle scares me though.

Jack Burden said...

Actually, selling your sperm isn't as easy as that. You have to go through an intense screening process. Some friends of mine in college went through it, and you had to fill out this huge form with the medical history of your family through your grandparents. They all got rejected.

I personally am fine with the concept of selling sperm (getting paid to jerk off? How can you lose?) but when you read the fine print, you see that the majority of donated sperm is used for research, not for actual baby makin'. I'd rather have a couple of unknown biological offspring out there than have my DNA be a toy for scientists whose intentions are not known to me.